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Thursday, February 28, 2013

You Are Your Own Role Model


Today I had a talk with a young girl named Sahana who studied in the same college as I did in Mysore, but academically 2-year junior to me.

She contacted me through facebook today. We have never met as I was checking out of college when she was checking in, but it seems that she has heard about me in the college. One shocking piece of news that I got is that my notes are still in circulation even after 2 years. Well, I am glad that my notes could be helpful.

From the brief conversation, I found her to be quite full of spirit and one thing that is surprising about her statement is that she wants to be like me and I am her role model. It was truly surprising to find out that someone out there wants to be like me. I am truly honored but I am still too young to be someone’s role model. I am not flaw-less. There are still so many other things in me that need polishing. I am indeed grateful for what I am today, but knowing that someone is having a wish to be like me is like having a wish to walk on nailed shoes on a fire.

My path is not smooth. I went through many things that most girls in my surrounding did not. I had to take up responsibilities which most girls never imagine to take up. And the most pathetic part is that one friend of mine ever told me that most normal men are scared of me because they thought their authorities would be challenged. I speak my mind and that is a turn-off for most men hahahaha… Thank God that some still find me attractive, though.

Well, however, one thing that she wished to be like me is on “study” issue. I think everybody has already decided that I am indeed a Nerd that is why everyone is asking tips on how to study efficiently. To be frank I was not a student who would bring the books to toilet. I am not so crazy about study. I am a book-worm but not “college-book-worm”. I am more Novel-worm, Article-worm, and Magazine-worm. I am a CURIOUS CAT. If something new is laid in front of me, I would not sleep with satisfaction until I peel it, see how the texture of the skin, taste it, savor it, and a get a conclusion of what it is. That is a huge problem. I get into a lot of trouble because of this curiosity. The same thing happened in my studies, but to be frank, not for all subjects. There are certain subjects which made me bored indeed.

Certain things that I could give away today regarding my methods of studying are:
  1. In the beginning of any course, I always check the syllabus and find brief information on each topic just for my fun reference. I do not make notes on that. I would just go to google, type the topics and see what they are about. That’s all.
  2. I make sure I do not miss the first class on each course as mostly the teachers or lecturers would mention the most important topics to be covered during the semester in this first meeting. I did the same thing too when I was a lecturer. Hence, I make sure I am present on this first meeting and make sure I get the important topics.
  3. In each meeting there would certainly be new topics. I do not brush it off. When I am home, after watching my favorite movies, after having a good dinner, chat and fight with whoever wish to fight with me, I would try to find information on the topics which were discussed in class and make a short note of it. Well, I do that in routine manner, not even daily but at least 2 or 3 times a week.
  4. In case I developed curiosity regarding other issues which is not in the syllabus but related to it, then I would have some light reading just to support whatever theories I am studying. Sometimes it helps in exam when you have to write certain examples or when you have to analyze the Case Study section.
  5. When the time comes for exam (mid-term or semester), I never go to details. I go through main points but at the same time making an assurance that I have the ability to elaborate the main points towards a decent paragraph along with examples if possible.
  6. About time-management during the exam. Usually I skim all the questions first. I would start from whichever part is easy and I would elaborate according to the mark-allocation. If the marks allocated for certain question is low, then it means no need to elaborate too much.
  7. CASE STUDY during exam. Well, CASE STUDY IS NOT EQUAL TO SWOT ANALYSIS. That is the most common mistake students do. Not all case studies could be turned into SWOT Analysis. Case Study is the best part of the exam as you are free to address the concern from whichever angles you wish as long as you are not digressing from the real topics. It is not a one-line way in answering questions. It is a way where you have to consider all angles and put it across in a proper way. Do not write mumbo jumbo or gibberish on this section. My ways of handling Case Study most of the time are:

  • Case Analysis : Highlighting the main concerns of the Case in your own words. Do not copy-paste as it would look so much like Kindergartners.
  • Assumption : If there is certain information which does not exist in the Case, but is actually important in order to address the concerns of the Case, then this is the time for you to make your own assumption. Your assumption might be different from others so do not bother.
  • SWOT Analysis (Optional) : When you need to make a choice in the Case Studies which put across two entities, then this is certainly required. Otherwise, DON’T because it would make your Case Study Analysis looks ridiculous.
  • Hit the Questions : Address the questions being asked by “thinking out of the box”. Usually Case Studies cover the whole topics that have been studied so try to club the strings of information you have in your brain cohesively.

Final Remark: Whatever things that you study, it is JUST 10% of what you would apply or witness in real working-environment, so in case your marks are not as satisfying as you wish, don’t bother. Life is much more than just simple Marks in your report cards. I’m sure the so-called “Last Benches” would agree on this ;).

I think I have covered enough. Hopefully it could be useful. BUT… this is my way. I have to do this in order to perform it efficiently. For each his own so do what is best for you.

There are two more things mentioned in the conversation today.

First, My Stone-Age phone. I will try to change it as soon as possible hahahaha. Everyone is using smart phones and most of my friends have been asking me to change it for the Love of God but it is a bad habit of mine where I could not change it when it is still functioning. I am stupidly loyal. Then maybe I could just sell it to second hand market, right? NO, that is the first phone I bought with my own money. No second hand market.

And Secondly, that young girl said something that made me fly to cloud-9 and I could not stop thinking what is happening today…. She said I am unique and I treat every aspect of my life equally and since she never sees me live, I tagged her one of my picture. She said I am pretty and that my husband will be the luckiest to get a girl like me who is perfect. Well, I know 100% that I am not perfect, lots of flat parts are there… but if I have a blessing for a marriage one day, and If I get a husband who sees me as a perfect life-partner for him and find himself lucky to have me in his arms for the rest of my life… I think I would be one of the luckiest women on earth. Bless the Lips which say that. AMEN.

And a message for Sahana and other girls out there who want to be like “somebody”… Learn from that “somebody’s” experience BUT always Be yourself. Your role model is not that perfect. Every human is unique so rather than trying to be like “somebody”, Be yourself, Create your own trademark, Show-off your uniqueness in a humble way, Be confident with who you are. All you need to do is just walk on your shoes properly, Respect yourself so that others will respect you the same way, Be careful with your words because that bone-less tongue is very dangerous sometimes AND By the grace of God, You will come out just Beautiful and Shining.


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

THANK YOU...


Thank you for caring…
Appreciation is the highest at your feet…
Thank you for the attention…
But…
The trust has gone…

The only thing exists is fear…
Fear to be hurt…
Fear to be treated the same way again…
I never know I deserve better or not…
But…
The trust has gone…

Protecting myself is a must… an obligation
Letting myself fall in the same pit again is a BIG NO…
If you think it is ego… It is not…
It is fear…

Thank you for caring…
But you are helpless…
No matter what I do…
You have always been helpless…
And in my case… You will always be

I want to talk, but… please...
I am scared of you...
Don’t make me talk…
Coz I know I would be hurt…

If there is a way to come back…
I would be the first to know…
Because I have always been searching…

But now…
I have stopped searching…

There is no way to come back…
It has been blocked by words in anger…

Don’t try to convince me…
Coz it is not a one-day thing…
You do not have the patience for that…

Thank you for caring…
But…
The trust has gone…

Thank you for the attention…
But…
I fear to be hurt again…

Thank you for caring…
But let me carry the remains of my own broken heart myself…

May you find a better-shaped heart than mine…
You have torn my heart to pieces…
It’s no longer beautiful…
My heart is no longer good enough for you...

May you find someone without a load…
Coz I have a load…
It’s not attractive…
You don't want a person with load...

Thank you for caring…
But let me carry my torn heart myself…

Thank you for the attention…
But let me carry my own load myself...

Thank you for the caring...
But please...
Don't break my already-broken heart again...

Thank you for the attention...
May God be watching you!


Tit For Tat Is NOT the Path to Peace of Mind



Today I just thought of certain things that happened recently in my life.

There were points of time in our lives where we are hurt by other people. By “hurt” in here I don’t mean physical hurt, but emotional one. Most of the time, the people who really have the capacity to hurt us are the people who are closely attached to us - the people we trust, the people we love, the people we care, the people whom we have ever given hands to.

The people who are actually “STRANGERS” in our hearts would not have the capacity to hurt us. Whatever they say, even though they say the worst things possible, we would not be very much affected to that. It is funny how human emotional condition plays along with the connection of other people.

Every single human being in this planet has ever been hurt, knowingly and unknowingly. Sometimes, it is just a mild pain that we get over it very quickly but sometimes, it is a major trauma that takes ages to finally be healed. Actually it is not “healed”, but it is "us" who finally elevate to a stronger level where the pain that we used to feel is no longer as painful as it used to be. We grow up emotionally.

What made me realize all these things are the things that are happening around me with the people whom I thought ever hurt me.

When we are hurt, when we are betrayed, when we are trashed, we have the tendency to curse other people. What I mean “curse” in here is not the vulgar words we use to others, but the “prayer to damnation” towards others. To be honest, I also have done that. It is a common phenomenon of human being, it is spontaneous, it is an eager to have an eye for an eye.Some people take that literally and have the revenge directly. They do not need to curse as they thought they have the ability to take the reign in their own hands and clear the issue. That is a different thing.

For those who do not want to or who cannot take revenge usually let go that anger, pain, disappointment or whatever you call it by “cursing” the people who caused those emotions to us. I did that. I know it is not a good thing to have such prayer in our hearts as we never know what lies ahead for us in the future. Having such prayer means we are keeping the grudge and making our soul and heart dirty with such negativity. No religion teaches us to do that. Every religion teaches us to forgive those who hurt us. Every religion teaches us to be patient towards whatever bad things that happened to us because Nothing is bad at all if we are trying to take it in a positive way and learn from that. BUT… there is always a humongous BUT… it is not as easy as it is thought. It takes heavy gym activity for the heart to reach such solid and peaceful condition ;)

There were times when people hurt me towards the extreme limit where I could not brush it off and deep in my heart I expect them to feel the same as what they did to me. I want them to face the worst that would make them think of what they did to me. And you know what? It actually happened. It did not happen immediately, but after a few years when I no longer even think of it, I heard that whatever bad prayer that I made long way back has actually come into reality. AM I HAPPY BECAUSE OF THAT??? I should have been happy, right? Yes, I should have been happy but I DO NOT FEEL HAPPY. It’s weird. Something that I used to want so badly at one point of time has actually had no meaning anymore now. I do not feel  happy for those who face that worst condition. Maybe I think that they deserve it, but I have come to a position where I could not just sit and watch them suffer, especially when eventually I am the person who is looked for. I cannot back off. I should back off, I want to back off but I could not and I do not want to. Am I a stupid? Maybe.

Sometimes the most important things in life is not waiting till someone fall hard crashing down, but how to elevate ourselves to the highest point as possible that you no longer be affected by those who fall hard crashing down and who do not.

Like what Mario Teguh always says Be humble with you words and your deeds always, because you are just an imperfect human who are prone to errors”.

Thatha used to say the same thing too, but in different version. He used to say “Smile when you go up, because those people would be there when the time comes for you to come down”.

When you are so angry at someone for unfair things that they have done, try not to curse them. Instead, pray that they are forgiven for what they did and pray that they are given the chance to realize what they have done so that they could be a better person for the next time. Maybe not for you, but for others.

Keeping grudge or keep cursing in your heart will make you lose a lot of precious time of yourself where actually could be spent with blessed people who are actually exist around you.

It is not easy to do this, but it is the right thing. Like a friend of mine ever said, “Everyone is a child of God. Forgive them before you sleep and God will grant you with wonders before you wake up.”

The first 25 years of my life had gone stably. Only minor issues would be there. But since 2010, huge chapter of my life started. Facing the turbulence where the entire universe of mine seemed to be turning topsy turvy. In the shock, I have turned to a different person. I became the person that I never wanted to be. I was full of rage, full of hatred, full of vengeance. My heart became dirty. I told lies to hurt the people who hurt me just in order to hurt them back. I kept asking to myself… Why me? Why people behave such? How can they do such thing? How can they say such thing? What did I do that I face this now? I kept asking “Why? Why? Why?”… I never had the answer until I came to Afghanistan. What was done had been done. No one can change it, no one can fix it. The answer is that the problem that I have is just 0.0000001% from the blessings that I have in my life - Wonderful mother, great friends, a family that trust me and eventually realized that I am stronger than they thought to take a huge chunk of responsibility, a family who realize that I am strong enough to clean up the mess that had happened, a family who realize that my heart has the capacity to forgive the worst thing that happened, a grandpa whose physical body no longer exist but still keep coming in my dreams just to give me a hug or walk with me by holding my hands, food to eat when I am hungry, people to talk to when there is a good news or bad news. What else do I need?

If you are hurt, use the energy to be angry to improve yourself to have a better quality as a human being.

If someone says that you are bad, consider that. If it is true, improve. If it is not true, let it go because it is impossible to convince a monkey that chocolate-coated strawberries are better than bananas. Keep walking.

If someone says that you are not worth it to be in their life, If someone says that it is a good thing that you are not a part of their lives, go away, find people who find you worthy enough to be a part of their lives - Go to your family who value you more than anything, Go to your crazy friends who will always remind you that world is great, Go to your work, Develop some interest towards certain hobbies, Work honestly, Give something good to people who need it, Smile, Make others laugh, Show the ones you love that you love them before it is too late.

Live life to the fullest, follow your heart, follow your dreams and the good things are bound to come. Trust me. The good things are bound to come if you polish yourselves as good as you can no matter how harsh your surrounding is. No good seed would go wasted.

IF YOU THINK LIFE IS TREATING YOU UNFAIRLY. IF YOU THINK YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR THE MISTAKES THAT YOU DO NOT DO, JUST REMEMBER, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, IT IS NOBODY'S FAULT. IT IS SIMPLY THE WAY OF NATURE TO REMIND YOU THAT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET KNOCKED DOWN LOWER THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN TO STAND UP TALLER THAN YOU EVER WERE.

Have a light heart always, folks. Be blessed!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Bittersweet India - International Students Day

During my study in India, I got the chance to be the Master of Ceremony (MC) for International Students Day (from now on, I will call it “ISD”). It is an event that is held once a year for all the foreign students studying in Mysore. It is an event where the students from all the countries who are in Mysore have the opportunities to showcase their culture to the public. It could be dance, drama, songs, or other performance which are usually ended with Fashion Show.

In that event, many people would come and attend. There would be approximately 1000 or more spectators plus the performers. This event would last for 2 days. The first day would be the Cultural Evening and the second day would be the Buffet Dinner for all the foreign students affiliated with Mysore University.

For the first year I was in Mysore, I was selected by the President of FISA-M (Federation of International Student Association - Mysore) to be the anchor (MC). It was an honor but too scary for the first time. I have been an MC for small friends or family parties, but for a formal cultural evening where around 1000 students from different countries, Police Commissioner, University Chancellor, International Student Center Director, and other Heads would be there… I was darn nervous. I was not the only one though. We were a team of four members from 4 different countries (Indonesia, Nepal, Afghanistan, and one more if I am not mistaken from Sudan or Tanzania. I am sorry that I could not remember well as I was not very well acquainted with that lady).

The event started with a formal Opening Ceremony by the Vice Chancellor which was led by the FISA-M President and the rest of the evening would lie on our 4 people’s hands. The evening would be a total mess or a total success or just so-so… that solely depended on us. I was very much nervous when we rehearse the order of appearing again at the backstage. I had millions of butterflies on my belly.

I was wearing a white thin woolen top with long black skirt with a black fancy belt. I think that was the first time I appeared girly during my stay in Mysore. I remembered one of the senior who had good experience in being an MC told us right before we went on stage “Be confident, engage the audience. The rest of the evening is ALL YOURS”. I was like going to the battle. To be honest, I DO NOT see the audience and if you ask why? Continue reading… That was a marvelous experience.

The moment four of us went to the stage, the spot lights were focused on our noses. We introduced ourselves to the public without being able to see the audience as all the lights were on us. Seriously I felt like being in a White Room where I could not see anything but I had to make sure that my eyes WERE INDEED to the audience and my mouth SPOKE. That was weird and knowing that somewhere in the crowd are people who know me closely like mom, and some other college friends… that was thrilling.

The beginning was a bit difficult but thank God my MC partners were great guys. They gave good impromptu ideas to suit the situation and we played along well. I was really happy when at the end we got good remarks from friends as well as from the International Student Center Director. I was so happy that I pulled it through well

That success led to the second chance of being an MC at the second year of the ISD. I was the only MC who was repeated as the rest of my MC partners had finished their studies and went back to their countries. For the second ISD, I was wearing the Kebaya (Indonesian traditional dress) and I could not be more proud, especially when on the fashion show, as an MC, I got the first chance to do the first swing of my outfit… That made me feel like a little girl. The second time was a cake-walk. My confident level was stable right from the beginning till the end. My partner was exquisite and I could not be happier as the evening went successfully.

Being an MC for an ISD had an effect though. People got to know me. I was the girl who tried to imitate one of the African dance move after the wonderful performance from them. I was the girl who almost punched my partner on stage as he “teased” me for not having any ability to dance at all (even though in real life I am not so-bad a belly dancer). I was the girl interviewed one Student for lip-syncing his girlfriend singing in Burmese language. Yes… I was that girl.

Sometimes I got a wave from some foreign students when I walked to college. I was like “Are you waving at me?”. That made me realized that I did not even recognize them and all I could do was just wave back. Sometimes someone would just come around and say “How are you doing?” and I would say “I am fine thank you but I am sorry. Do I know you?” and they would say “No. You do not know me but I know you. You did well on the ISD”. It is maybe a bit narcissistic or show-off but I had to admit that for a split second I felt like a celebrity. It was fun.

And then there is this Dinner which takes place mostly the next day of the ISD. The dinner would take place on the garden of Vice Chancellor’s residence and it would be OUTDOOR. The first year dinner went on smoothly but for the second year, the RAIN came.

The funniest incident was that, we started queuing for the meal when suddenly the rain poured down. We were holding the plate and took shelter on the Food Server’s Tent. That tent was not so wide so we were like a Kiwi Bird which only protected the heads. I remembered stuck in the tent with a Fiji friend and Nath along with many other people of course. And you know what happened? We were so hungry that we ate. We were at the FOOD SERVER’S TENT for the Love of God… That was the best place for the hungry people. Where else could we get FOOD, right? So we ate with our safe heads while the rain was pouring down nicely on our backs. The dinner was too good and we were hungry that we managed to be wet in such a way. That was unforgettable moment. We passed our plates to get the chicken and dosa from 3 or 4 people as we wanted to have second round of the food. We did not have to queue, folks. We stood in one place, passed the plate and the food would come safely to our hands with a bit of rain drop on it. We ate, we laughed, some people were watching with expression of "MY oh MY... That girl is hogging while her back is on the rain". That was truly hilarious.

I still laughed many times with Nath when we talked about it. I was wearing the second expensive dress I had. I thought I would look good in a brown silk dress with army green and deep maroon shades… BUT I WAS WET for heaven’s sake.

But thank God.. at least one gentleman who was 5 years younger than me still noticed me and flirt with me and I realized that I am not that old at all and The day was not that bad at all ;).
I hope that when I go back to India to attend my convocation, I would have the chance to attend the ISD again… this time as an Audience ;)

Good night everyone and Have a nice weekend. Be blessed!
KEBAYA (Indonesian Traditional Dress) - Mine was similar to this, except that it was in Maroon Color

Friday, February 22, 2013

Bittersweet India - College Life

I started my college life on 13 September 2010 and it was somehow heavy the first day. I did not know what would lie ahead, my relationship life was in jeopardy, leaving mom alone at home with a total stranger neighborhood, thatha has gone back home, fear of how the study system would be, whether I could manage it or not. I studied in Indonesian-medium schools and university and even though I am good enough in English, there was a slight uncomfortable feeling when I thought of being enrolled in an English medium university.

In the first day of college, the first friends I made were Alfred and a girl-friend from Fiji. They were already there when I reached college. Not long after that Marshall joined our group and we attended the Inauguration ceremony together. At the end of the ceremony, a boy-friend from Afghanistan came to us and offered to drop us home since he got a car. Those friends remained friends till the end of college.

The first semester was somehow a bit bumpy for me. Being an IT graduate, entering into Management world was not a cake-walk at all. I was used to be behind the screen, making programs and literally pull my hair for the bugs. Enrolling in a management study has brought a different perspective. I felt freer in the studying process. The subjects that I enjoyed the most in the first semester was Business Communication as I was teaching this subject before I came to India, and Statistics for Business (I always love Mathematics and Statistics is the best part of Mathematics because it actually is useful in deducing certain information from the myriad of numbers). I was told a geek because I like subjects that mostly only nerds like, but I cannot help it. Maybe I am just simply a Beautiful Nerd ;).

Academically I performed quite well for the first two semesters and half of third semesters. Nearing my third semester exam, thatha passed away. I felt that my world collapse. I could not study properly. I used to present in front of public and talk confidently but after thatha passed away, I never imagine I could present anymore. It’s like I have lost my passion towards everything. I did not even how I wrote my exam, but the funniest thing is that my percentage is the highest on the third semester exam. Only God knows how I pulled it through.

There are some good incidents, not-so-good incidents, and the best incidents that happened during my college life. One thing that I missed was the trip to the North India by the whole senior batch. If I had gone, maybe I would have been able to tell more memorable stories. However, here are some...

Camel Without Water
I remember I was outraged once when the water I brought from home was finished by a group of boy-friends. Why did this happen?? Well, I am a water tank girl and I could not drink the water provided in department as I found it different in taste and at times the mineral water would be out of stock in canteen so I had to bring water from home. When they finished it early morning in the summer day, I was totally outraged and blasted like hell. So stupid of me. Poor those guys. They were asking for apology like anything. From then on, I always brought one small extra bottle for any emergency cases.

Cry a River
I also remembered when once a friend punch me from behind in a friendly way but hit the wrong back bone of mine which hurt like hell and I cried in the college hallway which attracted attention of few lecturers who called me the next day and asked what happened. At that time, Pravo was around and saw me crying and he just left all and came. That was the time when several bonda (Indian snack that is round in shape and spicy in taste) were missing from his newly ordered plate of bonda. God knows where they were gone in his 1 minute absence for attending me crying. That part was funny, but the part of all lecturers knew I was crying… That was embarrassing.

Celebrity Moment
This is one of the most interesting things that happened. I was chosen to be the Master of Ceremony for International Student Day for the two years I was staying there. It was a heaven of experience that I would share in different sequel.

Girl with Notebook
One of the good things that happened in college is that I became a “NOTE GIRL”. My handwriting was claimed as to be too good and my note book was claimed as neat and everybody starts borrowing it. People keep asking how I could write so well. My answer would be thatha. He was the one who was particular about how I write.
Letter “b” and “h” have long bars, letter “d” and “t” have short bars, punctuations, paragraph, hyphens, etc. He was too particular about presenting a writing in a neat way and I think since I grew up with him, I am just used to with it. I did not find it very special until I came to India where I got so much appreciation because of that from my friends as well as the lecturers. Thank you thatha :).

Down with Bicycle and Up with Machine
I used to walk to college. It was around 5 km to and fro. It took me 30 minutes to reach college and I enjoyed walking as Mysore was not a crowded city with so much pollution so walking that distance is safe enough. Then, one Sunday we had to have an emergency group work and I thought why not trying bicycle. I borrowed a bicycle of one of our neighbors. THAT DECISION WAS A MISTAKE WORTH CHERISHING. I started pedaling and realized that the up and down hilly road is a disaster for bicyclists. The moment I reached college, I could not feel my thighs. My legs were wobbly and I was like a panting dog after chasing a bone that runs in a speed of light. I knew for sure, 100% guaranteed that I could not go home in the same means. I need a help. I could not leave the bicycle in college as it was not mine so I had to take it home but NOT riding it.
I need a friend with a bike who is stable enough to hold the bicycle to get it home and the only person I had that day was Alfred. When he reached college and I told the issue, he finally said that “I will ride the cycle, you ride my scooter”. I never ride anything with MACHINE before and having to do it myself without anyone sitting in the backseat was a horror. He made me try a ride in college compound and finally ask me to ride it home while he was right on my rear right side to make sure I do not mistakenly go to right lane and hit the bus coming by on the streets. That was scary. But I managed to reach home safely without a scratch. That was the day I started riding a matic hahahaha. I tried to ride a gear bike from a different friend a few weeks after that, but only could go in the first gear. Each time I changed the gear, the bike would stop… It was pathetic.

A Donkey Moment
It happened when there was a Friendly Sports activity in college where there would be Cricket match, Volleyball match, and Throw-ball match. I was put in a cricket match. Holy Mother of God bless me. I did not know what Cricket was, how to play, the rules, NOTHING. I was truly like a donkey from a jungle (if there is a donkey in the jungle) which is put in the middle of the metropolitan city. I managed to hit a sixer, but that was it. It was ridiculous, but I had to admit… I enjoyed it. Thanks to the captain whom by force put me in his team ;).

Pendulum Boat = Puke
This happened when I and three other friends went to GRS Fantasy Park in Mysore. We had a marvelous time. We swam, ride a river-boat, and other exciting things. THAT was a bash. But THEN… there must be a BUT in a good time, right? This is what happened. We had lunch. I had full lunch as after whole day in water, I was literally became a pig that gobbled. AFTER that we saw this pendulum boat ride. We were thinking whether we should do or not, then without a decision we just went up and sat. The boat started swinging… swinging… swinging… swinging… and I felt that it was forever… The moment I reached down, I felt like the whole stomach of mine wanted to come out. Luckily we brought some oranges, we ate that but it did not help much. My friend had to drive the car very slowly because two girls on the rear seat were having worst nausea… I almost vomit when I finally reached home. I WILL NEVER EVER RIDE A PENDULUM .. EVER AGAIN.

OH MY MY… I miss my college life.

I miss the friends, I miss the late evenings in library before the exam, the tea break and crispy vada (Indian snack) after a tiring study, the hang out near the water tank of our department when there was a break or when there was no lecture, eating Momos which were bought by our Tibetan friends while sitting on the grass of college garden, going out of college when there is no lecture just to find a place to hang out and eat, the silly fights among the group, drinking tender coconut in the hot summer days, bantering with friends to the extreme limit that words are no longer boundaries, and many many other things. Thank you for all of you who had given me some of the best memories I could ever had... Bless you!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Forgotten Adjectives called LOVE and CARE

I haven’t finished the story of my life during my stay in India, but I think these last 2 days there are certain things that happened which made me realize that I indeed love the people I stay with here. It’s not just I like them or I respect them, but I love them… just like they love me.

I stay in a red-zone country where most people never imagine leading a life due to the security concerns, but trust and love had brought me here. Whether I feel sorry to be here? NO… I will feel sorry if I didn’t make a choice to be here today.

The care that I could see in the people’s eyes when they say “Take care of yourself, don’t go out or show up a lot. Try to remain inside” made me feel safe already. It’s not the words, it’s the visage and the eyes of people who really care.

Yesterday night I cried to sleep because I miss thatha a lot. I really wished that he would be with me. I missed sharing all my experience with him. I missed listening to his jokes. I missed listening to his stories. I felt that my chest was suffocating and before I realized, I have started crying and crying till I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, no need to ask… my eyes were like a cross-breed of Panda and Drunken Bull. They were puffy and red. My head?? I felt like a ton of log was placed on the top of my head and my eyelids were too heavy. I even went late to office due to the severe headache.

Thousands of miles away from family and from friends with whom I grew up actually should have made me felt terrible in such situation, but I didn’t. I had people today who called me just to check on me whether I felt better or not, whether I want something to make me feel better and at the end of the day, one of the member (let’s call him Mr. M) asked mom “Why doesn’t she look happy today?”. Mom said “She got headache”, but Mr. M observed even more. He said “No. Pain in headache is different. She is not as cheerful as usual. Something is wrong. What happened?”
To be frank, such thing is actually not a big deal… but how many of us have such people in our surrounding? They don’t ask how I am just for amenities, but because they really care. They may not keep asking “what happened?” and sit around me till I say my story, but they showed that they care with their own ways. One would make me some hot drink that would make me feel better, one would ease my work by taking some work-load that was supposed to be mine. How many of us have that in our lives? And if we have, how many of us feel blessed to have them around?

I ever complained with myself when I came here, because I’m not used to the food and the weather. BUT if I look beyond those things, beyond the things that I could complain about, I think day by day I just fall in love being here. Just like I fall in love being among my friends in Indonesia, like Intan, Kiminiko, Imel Sunaco, Ensui, KevinBadBoyz, Nath, Pu, and my Lil’ Bro. Those people are blessing in my life. Just like I fall in love being among my friends in India.

It’s strange but when we are among the people who care about us, among the people who we also really care about, nothing seems incomplete. Food that we are not accustomed to, weather which makes us not comfortable…. all seems just tiny gravels that do not bother any steps.
People out there may have different perception about the country where I reside now, but by the blessing of God, I am seeing the good side of it and I hope it will remain that way. The men are polite, the women are friendly. These people I am living with have been like a family to me.

I am a bit in melancholic mood today, so I hope that you bear with me even though you find that I am lame somehow ;).

I just want to say that if you have someone whom you believe that he/she/they care about you or love you (it could be friends, parents, cousins, siblings, colleagues, anyone) please savor that as much as you could, pray that you are grateful to have them around, pray that you hope that kind of people would always be there in your life wherever you go, reciprocate their care in a way that you understand. For one single second, never say a word or behave in a way that would make them go away. EVER. Because sometimes when they are gone, means they are gone for good.

Embrace the little care and love that you have. The person who gives you USD 1 million when you are broke, the person who buys you the latest sophisticated gadgets, the person who takes bullet for you are not the only people who care… sometimes a silent stranger who sits beside you and hold your hand when you cry for the most painful thing that happened to you is also a person who cares about you.

Nothing is permanent in this life folks, not even our own life. No material could fill that emptiness that most human feel inside except the care of other living creature. Neither liquor nor late night hours at discotheque would make a person truly happy. No enough workload could make a person totally forget the bad things that happened in his/her life. Embrace the good things and the good people that you have as long as they are there and if there are bad things or bad people, learn something and let them go. Life is too short to be spent on negative things.

Just food for thought… Have you ever once looked around and see who really have a bond with your heart no matter how far the distance is? Try to answer that question genuinely, the answer may be surprising.