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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Smoking Kids? Why? What To Do?

Well, I shall start today with an epic conversation, between S and M - I think A and B are too common ;)

M: I want to organize a campaign in order to reduce the number of children smoker.
S:  Why?
M: The number of smokers, including children are increasing.
S:  What would this campaign be?
M: It would be a kind of awareness to the hazard of smoking, both for active and passive smoker.
S:  How are you going to organize it?
M: Well, we could make a long march with a proper banner and make a non-smoking day event. We would   ask the companies to reduce their marketing and advertising campaign.
S:  Oh, so you mean you want people to live healthy life by not smoking?
M: Yes, of course.
S:  You have the authority. Why don't you just simply close all the tobacco companies?
M: It's not possible. The tax they are paying is crucial for the country.
S:  So, you want the monetary benefit, but you don't want the after effect of that?
M: *silent*

OK, that conversation is out of the topic. It is beyond our control. Now, as parents and teachers, we see that underage children are holding cigarettes and start puffing even in the public places at times. There has been quite many concerns all over the world that the number of children smokers are increasing.
Source: Kid Smoking (Can't help but notice the God Father posters behind)
What is the reason for this?
If we start making reasons, there would be myriad, but major reasons that make a child become a smoker are as follows:

  1. Habit from Home. Most habits start at home. If a child sees his father or mother smokes, there is a huge chance that he would smoke too. The parent may ask them not to smoke the way they did, but action speaks louder than words. If as parents, you could show them that you are living a healthy life, that would be the best example you could have ever given to your children.
  2. Peer Pressure. This happens when your child befriend with other smokers. Usually happens among young adults or teenagers. Those who smokes would say things in order to make the non-smokers become smokers. They would say things like "You are not a man if you don't smoke" or "You smoke once, it would bring you to a different new world" or "If you don't smoke, you are not accepted in our group". Teens are sensitive. They are the group of people who are starting to find themselves and to position themselves in the society and hence, the feeling of being accepted (other than at home) is an important issue for them. They would do anything in order to be accepted, including taking the offer to smoke. That is the fragile moment.
  3. Ridiculous Advertising. Have you noticed the ads for tobacco? They show macho cowboys handling horses skillfully. To be honest, it looks sexy, though. They show a high-rank tall-dark-handsome executive wearing a suit that looks as if it cost a fortune, relaxing and showing the masculinity of being a man. They show an off-road adventurers with rippling muscles with their mud-covered jeep. They show strong & handsome young man doing cliff-climbing and stands at the top of the cliff telling the world that he did it. ALL those stunts are showing them as men with identity of smokers of certain brands. NOW, do you think all that is because 'CIGAR' or 'CIGARETTE'? Come on.. Seriously.. Who are they kidding? They are kidding the kids. The young boys who see that kind of advertisement find themselves to imitate that masculinity, that elegance, that power of being a man. They haven't realized that in order to do all the stunts that tobacco advertising actors are doing, they have to have perfect lungs - which is impossible if they smoke.
  4. Judging Parents. Most young adults have this transition phase we call puberty. They would behave abnormally, they would shout back at their parents, and they would try to create their own identity. Some parents, instead of being supportive, they would become judgmental. This make things worse. When these young adults find that they are not safe at home for they are "judged", they seek comfort externally. AND most of the time, they would end up in the wrong lane. Not only tobacco, but also drugs, alcohol, unsafe free sex, and vandalism.

NOW, that is the reality. You can't change the external factors. But you have to realize, while some teens could survive the Peer Pressure, the Ridiculous Advertising, why others can't? What is the problem? The  problem could vary, because every human is designed differently. Different temper, different perspective, different comprehension level, different upbringing, different spiritual level, etc. Hence, I get back to the core. As parents and teachers, how could we try to minimize this negative ambiance when it reaches our children?

How to deal with it?
It is not an easy job, but with a bit of patience and determination, I am sure we could get through.

  1. Introduce Healthy Way of Living at Home. When I say introduce healthy way of living at home, I do not limit only by "not smoking". What I mean is the overall living condition - hygiene, proper sanitation system, proper ventilation, proper sports activities, and the most important, proper food choice. Whatever you do, if your food choice is terrible, you would end up with cholesterol, cancer, and all the new diseases that the scientists are trying to give name to.
  2. Home Education. I am not talking about home-schooling. I am talking about the paradigm that parents should try to imbue in their children from the very early age. Home education is the most important aspect for the growth of children. There are many things that school nowadays do not teach. As parents, it's your job to create an awareness of the environment. Starting from making them understand the value of standing their own ground, being not easily bullied or influenced, etc. You have to be transparent. Some parents are scared to talk some sensitive topics like drugs, free sex, etc. But which one is more scary? Seeing your children end up knowing it from experience and outside world, or from you? I prefer it's safer when it comes from you. Make some slides, give them an interesting and motivating presentation regarding the sensitive issues. Ask them to read some books which educate them in those issues. Make them feel included in the safety of the family. Make them feel and understand deeply that they are the main actors who are responsible for their own safety and their own well-being, not others. AND warning. They might confront you back. If it happens, do not charge them. Let them release their tantrum. Talk later and be always supportive. I know you would be frustrated to be confronted back, but trust me, charging them would not  make anything better. Patience is virtue. At the end of the day, whatever they do, they have to get back to you, so do not create a fear for them to return to you. Make them feel, that no matter what happens, you would always have warm arms to calm them down and help them out of their own issues.
  3. Monitor Your Children's Friends' Circle. I have seen many parents who do not care whom their children befriend with. They never ask their children their friends' names. They simply don't care. Please don't be this kind of parents. You must know whom your children are dealing with outside your home. It doesn't mean that you hire a detective and make a list. Ask your children. Ask them "Whom did you play with today?" or "Tell me your school story today?". Invite your children's friends home once a while to simply have a playing party at your home. Get to know them. I remember one incident with my mom. I told her "I am going to this place with this person" (I tell her my friend's name) and her response is "I never heard you mention that name. Who is she? Why suddenly you have to go with her?". I was 26 when she asked me that question. I don't feel that she is limiting  my move. I don't hate her for having the necessity of telling her every single move I am making, because I know for sure that she is asking me that question for my own safety. She has the right to know what is happening in her daughter's life. Of course, you can't know everything, but at least make an attempt. Make sure you have this kind of awareness. Make sure your presence means something in front of your children's friends. You are their parents, anyway!
  4. Spend Quality Time with Your Children. Children who grow up without any quality time with their parents have the tendency to be influenced by the unfiltered outside world. Let them know that you would be there when they need someone to turn to. Spend some time with them at the end of the day. Let them know your point of view in certain issues. Tell them some stories which have values (It shouldn't be bed-time stories though). Let them know what kind of legacy you have carried from your parents. Play together. Support each other. Love your spouse. A child is always happy to see their parents happy with each other.

NOW, as a teacher, what could you do?

  1. Create a Regular Awareness Program. As teachers, it may not much you could do, but you could help in creating an awareness program of the hazard of smoking. Biology class or Health and Physical Education class would be the right places to start.
  2. Do Not Be Ignorant. At times, as a teacher who is standing in front of the class, you could well translate every mood that you are facing. If you see anomalies in the pattern of one of your students in regular basis, like too dull all the time, sleepy all the time, not focus, too laid back, hyperactive, using abusive language, then it's time for you to take action. You could approach that student directly and ask if he/she would like to talk. If it doesn't work, then call his/her parents. Talk to them. If you don't do this, you are ignoring your chance to assist, which is the main job of a teacher.

Well, it has been a quite long one. But reducing the statistics of child smokers is not an easy job. It takes a series of serious actions. Do the best you could and hopefully a better community could be created and the statistics of child smokers could be reduced. Amin!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Language Ethics in Multinational Workplace

When it comes to language, there are  many aspects which need to be considered. Accent, punctuation, pronunciation, grammar, etc but those are not the topics I wish to cover. The focus of today's topic is the ethical way of communication when you are in a workplace with people from different countries and different language backgrounds.

Every person from every country has their own language and if they meet with people who share the same language, definitely it would be more comfortable to speak in their native language. It is a common phenomenon. Now, the issue rises when there are other people around who do not understand your language. How to deal with such situation?

English is a universal language which is used in most MNCs, but among people from the same nation, it is not easy to maintain the English-language awareness. Since I am an Indonesian, I would use that language for an illustration. Now, if you are an Indonesian, there would be times when you spontaneously speak in Indonesian before the non-Indonesian employee. It is acceptable but to which extent? To the extent that you leave the non-Indonesian blinded with no information at all? It's not fair and most of all it's not ethical.

It is acceptable even to talk using your language to the people who do not understand your language, but when the person say "I don't understand what you are saying", the least you could do is translate whatever you said to the language he understood. If you fail to do so, definitely he/she would be offended. In some culture, it is even taken as back-stabbing.

This may sound a small issue, but if it is not taken care in the very beginning, the after effect could be disastrous. The relation gap between employees could arise. The trust with colleagues would be diminished gradually. The respect towards other employees could be gone. The one who would face bigger problem for this is the management system for there is no synchronization.

Other than that, a specific employee who becomes the victim of such action would definitely have psychological and emotional effects. The feeling of not being respected, the feeling on not being taken into account could occur. It could lead to inferiority complex when facing the other employees which eventually would decrease the level of performance.

The feeling of being accepted and taken into account plays important role in work performance and when an employee starts feeling unhappy with the working environment, there won't be any other compensation which would boost up his/her performance level.

The bottom line is it's always the wisest to say a person is an idiot right in front if his/her face using the language he/she understands rather than saying that a person is an angel using the language he/she does not understand at all.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Informal Gathering in Indonesian Embassy

Two days ago, there was a gathering in Indonesian Embassy. It was just an informal monthly gathering and since it was held in the morning, I could have the chance to participate (my curfew is 5pm ooops). It was truly nice to be around the people who speaks your language and eat the food which are familiar to your tongue.

We were there for having a friendly sports activities actually, but due to the heat, it was canceled and finally all we did was just sitting under the trees and talk A-Z. God knows what inspired the topics we talk. Starting from personal things, food material, discipline, business, and kitchen. It was a sweet mumbo jumbo.

We sat under the trees while eating rujak (it is an Indonesia fruit mix), prawn & chicken pastel (curry puffs), potato chips, and kue sus (cream puffs) - my all time favorite. All the dishes were made by the ambassador's wife. She's a very good cook. For a moment, I felt like I was back home.

After that, we headed for lunch and the lunch was too good. After 6 months, finally I could eat plain steam rice (it is difficult to get plain steam rice here as everyone is eating palau or rice cooked with tomato, onion, and oil), tempe (fermented soy bean). It was cook with ketchup and chili (sambal tempe) and the taste was heavenly. Other than that, we had oseng sapi (beef stir fry), bayam tumis (spinach cooked in garlic), kerupuk (I'm not sure what the name for this in English, maybe I could call as chips), kentang goreng asam manis (sweet and spicy potato chips), Bangkok salad with home-made gravy (I thought it was Thousand Island gravy, but it was home-made mixture. The taste was similar to one of the best brands for toppings and I was lucky to get the recipe). AND the main hit was Bakso (meatball soup or sometimes called as miso). The meatball was chicken & prawn mix with mi hun (no idea what you call that in English) and mi kuning (egg noodle) with the best and the hottest chili sauce + deep fried onion + ketchup + leek. OH my my.. I was FULL and now I'm  hungry again thinking about it.

Here are the pictures of the culinary delights :)





After the lunch, the karaoke session started. The ambassador started singing while we were eating and finally came the turn where I have to contribute as well. I had never gone to any Karaoke in my life as I found it totally uninteresting but that day I was determined to embarrass myself, no matter I sing like a mockingbird or like a duck. I tried with "Heal the World" by MJ but I lost the tune in the middle so I finally sang "The End of The World" by The Carpenters and "Yesterday" by The Beatles. I thought I sang like a hungry donkey, but thank God.. I got quite good appraisal. One of the Indian American who was present there as a guest told me that I sang very well. That was the first time I sang in public ever and I think it's just a beginner's luck OR maybe I should change my profession as a singer?? ;)

The day ended up well and we got a take-home. It is a custom in the embassy to cook more than needed so that the "home food hungry people" like us could take away some of the food home. Pathetic of me, I know... but no matter what compromises, this tongue will never compromise about the food I love. I brought my all time favorite, kue sus for sure, curry puffs, tempe, and salad.

Thank you very much, Indonesian Embassy... Can't wait for the next gathering :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Garden During the Mid of Spring

I just can't help without sharing all the spring pictures. So many flowers have bloomed in the mid of this spring in our front garden. This is the second time for me to see truly big roses other than those that I saw in Ooty, India.

The birds, the flowers, the trees... I just can't believe that those were the trees which during the winter looked like sticks.
This bird flew into the house and Mr. N caught it.  So cute... and Don't worry.. we released it after this shot ;)

I put some rice on the balcony and this bird is coming to eat it :)






The Zebra Flower :D




Look at the layers...The smell of this kind of rose is just toooooooo goooood :)

The rose bush before the full bloom




Three Roses in my mom's hands :)



One of the best shot I have ever taken :D



After the full bloom :). If you observe, you could see 2 roses grow near the main steam. They grow even down there :)

Here is the close-up of those 2 roses

The most outer branch hanging down due to the weight of those roses



People say my palm size is huge and this rose is even more huge


Two-color rose :)

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Story of A Little Girl Who Once Lost Love

This is a story of a little girl. A little girl in a woman's body.

This girl is a lone ranger. She had seen what life is. She had seen who people are. She had tasted what love is. She had been battered in love as well.

She had understood what betrayal is and she has survived the battle. She sometimes breaks down, but she always finds a way to get up, roll her sleeves, and fight another battle. Her life is dedicated to the legacy her elders have given to her.

This girl is not perfect and at this stage of life, one of her imperfections is her untrusting behavior. She had been to the most bitter part of life that trust is something she does not develop easily. It takes a  determined person to gain her trust.

She has forgotten that she is a woman. She does not feel like a woman. She has forgotten about love. She has erased the hope that one day she would be the pampered little girl again.

She has friends. Friends who stand like a fortress surround her. Friends who respect her. Friends who would protect her. Friends who would help her find the new meaning of her life. Her life revolves around her friends.

Her friends always tell her that she is strong, brave, responsible, most loving and caring woman that they ever met, but deep inside she knows that she is not that strong. Deep inside she knows that she does not want to be strong all the time. Deep inside she longs to have a shoulder to cry on. Deep inside she longs for a lap to put her head on and let her hair be caressed. Deep inside she longs for a chest to lay her head on while watching her favorite movies. Deep inside she longs for arms to hug her tight when she sleeps at night. Deep inside she longs for a kiss that melt her now-steel-heart.

She cries in the bathroom every night to release the pain in her chest for all the wrong accusation she had ever received. Her pillows are the witness of the pain she has in her pierced heart.God has been the silent listener of her plead.No one ever knows that she is carrying that much pain... because in the morning, she lifts her big eyes up and make sure they have the twinkle of happiness and spread the smile and confidence that a lady should have.

She has been battered so much that sometimes she feels that she is good for nothing. She has been hurt so much that sometimes she believes that she is not a good person. She has been chided so much that sometimes she believes she could not enter into someone's life and bring happiness to him.

Until one day...

A friend of hers, a friend who had always teased her around, a friend who had always been there, a friend who knows the things that are going on in her life, a friend who had been just a shadow in her life... asked her to sit and listen to him without giving a counter-argument the way she used to do to him.

He spoke very very slowly as if he was trying to make a child understand something and said "Through my eyes, I see that you are a perfect woman. You are brave. You know how to take care of yourself. You know how to take care of the person you love. You have been the best daughter your mom and dad could have ever had. You have been the best sister for your siblings and your cousins could have. You have been the best friend you could be for those who come to you.... and I know you could be the best mother your children could have. You could be the best daughter-in-law for the family. You are hard outside, so much hard in fact, you have a strong reason for that, but you have a very beautiful heart and a very soft soul. So why do you still keep your heart closed?"

She tried to answer that question, but he hushed her and continued "I am not perfect. I would be angry at times, but I would never disgrace you. I would be lazy at times, but I would never let go your hands. I would be a bit moody at times, but I would never let you down when you need me. Now, would you give me the chance to help you heal that wound you have been carrying? Would you be the best wife I could have ever had and make me the happiest man ever alive by taking my hand for a marriage?"

That girl was speechless. At the time where she has let go her dreams of love and marriage; At the time where she already sets her mind that no one would believe her if she says that she is not a bad person, he comes with a complete surrender. He makes her feel like 17 again. He reminds her that she is indeed a woman in his eyes. But she is scared. She is scared that her heart would be battered again. She is confused.

She has long forgotten what it feels to be actually loved by a man. She has long forgotten what it is to stop fighting and surrender in a man's hands. She has struggled to keep her heart a cold steel so that no one could get near. She has been living her life with the concept that her own legs are the ones that make her stand strong. She has been living with the concept that her own hands are the ones that would embrace her when she is at the lowest part of her life. That is how she survives the dark sides of her life.

She has built a fortress but now the fortress that she had built has been breached. She was very confident that no one would try to break her fortress again, but someone is coming with a dynamite to blast her fortress... Someone is trying to break the new her and bring back the old her.

Should she give this man his chance? Should she surrender herself once again with complete trust? Should she give herself a chance to love again? Does her heart have the capacity to love again? or Has she even already fallen in love with this man in her subconscious? She doesn't know what love means anymore. She doesn't have the answers. What should she do? What would she do?

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Trip to the Japanese Embassy

Today again I had the chance to go out of the office compound for a meeting in Japanese Embassy and it was another adventure.

The weather here is getting better, it is no longer shivering cold; the sun was shining brightly, I did not have to wear all the heavy clothings anymore (I hate heavy clothings on my body, it feels like being in a straightjacket).

The dry rocky mountain range which surrounds the city is no longer brown and dry. This year, Afghanistan gets quite good rainfall compared to what had been going on for decades. This year is quite a blessing with all the water pouring down from heaven which helps in eliminating the drought problem occurring in some regions. I could witness the mountain range which becomes a nest for housing has the trees blooming freshly in greens and the lands full of grass patches. It is good to see that despite the conflicts in the country, nature has its own way to give its blessing.

Now, let's go back to my trip to the embassy. Entering the clustered embassy area, we could see the highly secured ground where check posts exist every 10 to 20 meters. We could see the soldiers from different countries with different colors along with all the precautions taken. Once we entered the compound, the car was checked for any explosive substances using a metal detector, we were asked to step out of the car and enter a special cabin to be checked, then the car doors and bonnets were opened.

I asked my boss "What is next? Why are all opened?" and he said "The dogs are coming". I was like "WHAT???? What dogs?? Who dogs???" and YES, he was indeed serious. A huge German Shepherd came. That was the sexiest dog I have ever seen. I am not sure the origin of the soldier who handled that German Shepherd but he looks like an African, I am not sure. That dog checked the whole car and we were clear.

After the checking, the dog was standing not more than 2 meters from where I was standing and now I regret why I did not try to approach him and say "Hi". Would they allow if I did, only God knows. Even the dog did not care about me, he did not even look at me. Maybe I am not sexy enough for him hahahahaha... But, honestly, that German Shepherd was really magnificent. I never see one live and today was my first time, that was exquisite. He was huge, tall enough for its breed, and walk as if he is the king of the area. All the security checking and the dogs made me feel like being in an action movie.

I have never really seen guns and rifles in my life except once when I was in Pune, India; I got the chance to hold one heavy hunting rifle. In Indonesia, it is very rare to see naked guns; even the guns of the police would be kept inside the holster, but in here, wherever I see, I see guns and rifles. The police patrols who are roaming around the city sit on their truck with guns pointing right to our faces, the security guards of a mall is carrying a 1.5 meter rifle. It is a common scene here and at times I just forget that I am here and find those scenes as common ones that I have seen all my life.

Cameras are not allowed in most of the areas in the city, otherwise I would have shown you all how out-of-worldly-world it is to be here and how adventurous I feel about myself. Every time we got out, it is like we keep our soul in God's hands and take it back from Him once we return home safely. There is no guarantee that we would return in one piece. Anything is possible and that is sometimes how we realize how valuable but at the same time, how meaningless our lives are.

However, the meeting in Japan Embassy went on well and on the way home, I did not see that German Shepherd again. He was taken to his custody it seemed. I reached home with an excessive adrenaline rush. With this weather, I truly could enjoy going out and experience things which I have not experienced ever in my life, and I thank God for this part of life that has been given to me for my tasting. This part of my life is "My Fairy Tale" ;)

Sexy :)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Discussion: Nuclear Family vs Extended Family AND Womanhood


I was watching Oprah Show about her travel to India and it has made my running about certain issues which pertained to the show. The show focused on the life-style of Indians of different strata, the paradox of India, and the life of the women in particular. If you ever watched that show, I am sure you would see the paradox of how the culture declares the respect towards women, but at the same time would make the widows as outcast and not even their shades should fall upon you if you want good luck. To be frank, these kinds of paradox do not exist only in India, but also in other countries, in different version. It is not possible to judge that one country is like this and the other country is like that, because in the extremities of cases in India, it has its own other sides as well. In the show, it was said that “joint family (extended family) is the system that keeps the country running” but it does not mean that all the family systems there are joint families. I have been in India and I have seen that approximately 80% of the families that I have encountered are nuclear families. Another issue that was raised in the show was that the highest stress level among women in the world is in India. One of the Indian women who was interviewed in the show indicated that it is due to the multiple role complexities that one single woman has to adjust herself with. It is a must for a woman to adjust herself in roles so complex that she has to let go her identity and her dreams. All her identity and dreams are determined by the family which she would end up with after her marriage. For some of us, it may be a familiar issue while for some other, it may be a totally alien concept.

Well, that is the background of what I wish to address today. I actually wish to have an open discussion or we could say a debate regarding this. I am not going to focus on the life of women in India or in Indonesia or in other particular country. I wish to cover the general issue of womanhood in family system which exists in all over the world – the Nuclear Family and the Extended Family. It has to be noted that these two family systems prevail in all the corner of the world, no matter in which region of the globe we are. The decision towards what kind of family system is adopted would be based on the family tradition, economic situation, spacial issues, health issues, or simply the picture of symbiosis mutualism.

Psychologically every single person is bound to have the rights to freedom despite the genders. Every human being, man or woman, is entitled to certain expectations of behavior. I have touched this concept in my posting on 6 March 2013 about Why Are Women Materialistic & What's So Sexy About Men?. Other literature which would connect the dots of this issue today is the story of “Middlemarch” by George Eliot (click the link to get the PDF format of the novel and if you are not much of a reader, the story has been made to a movie which you could download). This novel talks about the contrast of marriage for two different couples. The themes explored in the novel include the status of women, the nature of marriage, religion, idealism, hypocrisy, political reform, and education.

In my personal opinion, every single person must be entitled with freedom of expression because that is one of the main ingredients for a human to have a healthy psychological condition. The way how that freedom is used would differ in each case; sometimes it could turn out good if said in good way, while in other times it could turn sour as it is not conveyed the way it should.

So, if we connect to the discussion topic today, does it mean that a woman would have better freedom of expression if she marries and be in a nuclear family? Does it mean that a woman would be more culturally aware if she marries and be in an extended family?

If you get married and you are bound to be in an extended family from your husband’s side, what would be the benefit and what would be the drawbacks?

In the same context, if you get married and you are bound to build a nuclear family, what would be the benefit and what would be the drawbacks?

There are lots of controversies saying that a woman who is married and build a nuclear family has stronger sense of responsibility of her family well-being, has better freedom to focus on her husband’s and children health condition, has better access to follow her dreams career wise or interest wise, has better sex life with her husband; while a woman who is married in an extended family has the force to follow whatever the family tradition without having her own voice when it comes to food & ways to raise children, no sense of adventure, she would not have the ability to have an objective discussion with her life partner, but in other side she would have strong sense of culture, better adjust-ability towards stressful situation, more submissive towards her husband, and safer.

Almost all these controversies exist because the marriage in an extended family runs as a forced system (established paradigm which is merely set only by the groom side), while in a nuclear family it runs as a trial and error to decide which is the best to adopt (both the values from the husband and the values of the wife would merge and establish a new common ground). What is your opinion on this?

Now, I am expecting your opinion as a debate on this blog. Please leave your opinion on the “Post a Comment” box and it has to be noted that your opinion would be filtered and it would not directly  be published. If you are reluctant to mention your name, please leave it as an “anonymous” comment.

Before I open the ground, I would like to mention that the intention of this discussion or debate is not to determine which one is better because I, as a fan of “Relativity”, believe that an Extended Family with good values would make everyone happy while a miserable partner in a Nuclear family would sink the marriage life to the bottom AND a narrow-valued extended family would make the members suffer while a good communication system and ability to except opinions of others would make the best Nuclear Family.

Let this discussion be a mediator for us in having a better perception of what we are facing and if I ask a counter-question, it is not a counter-attack, it would be just a gentle tickle to your brain. Males’ opinions are also expected J