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Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Story of A Little Girl Who Once Lost Love

This is a story of a little girl. A little girl in a woman's body.

This girl is a lone ranger. She had seen what life is. She had seen who people are. She had tasted what love is. She had been battered in love as well.

She had understood what betrayal is and she has survived the battle. She sometimes breaks down, but she always finds a way to get up, roll her sleeves, and fight another battle. Her life is dedicated to the legacy her elders have given to her.

This girl is not perfect and at this stage of life, one of her imperfections is her untrusting behavior. She had been to the most bitter part of life that trust is something she does not develop easily. It takes a  determined person to gain her trust.

She has forgotten that she is a woman. She does not feel like a woman. She has forgotten about love. She has erased the hope that one day she would be the pampered little girl again.

She has friends. Friends who stand like a fortress surround her. Friends who respect her. Friends who would protect her. Friends who would help her find the new meaning of her life. Her life revolves around her friends.

Her friends always tell her that she is strong, brave, responsible, most loving and caring woman that they ever met, but deep inside she knows that she is not that strong. Deep inside she knows that she does not want to be strong all the time. Deep inside she longs to have a shoulder to cry on. Deep inside she longs for a lap to put her head on and let her hair be caressed. Deep inside she longs for a chest to lay her head on while watching her favorite movies. Deep inside she longs for arms to hug her tight when she sleeps at night. Deep inside she longs for a kiss that melt her now-steel-heart.

She cries in the bathroom every night to release the pain in her chest for all the wrong accusation she had ever received. Her pillows are the witness of the pain she has in her pierced heart.God has been the silent listener of her plead.No one ever knows that she is carrying that much pain... because in the morning, she lifts her big eyes up and make sure they have the twinkle of happiness and spread the smile and confidence that a lady should have.

She has been battered so much that sometimes she feels that she is good for nothing. She has been hurt so much that sometimes she believes that she is not a good person. She has been chided so much that sometimes she believes she could not enter into someone's life and bring happiness to him.

Until one day...

A friend of hers, a friend who had always teased her around, a friend who had always been there, a friend who knows the things that are going on in her life, a friend who had been just a shadow in her life... asked her to sit and listen to him without giving a counter-argument the way she used to do to him.

He spoke very very slowly as if he was trying to make a child understand something and said "Through my eyes, I see that you are a perfect woman. You are brave. You know how to take care of yourself. You know how to take care of the person you love. You have been the best daughter your mom and dad could have ever had. You have been the best sister for your siblings and your cousins could have. You have been the best friend you could be for those who come to you.... and I know you could be the best mother your children could have. You could be the best daughter-in-law for the family. You are hard outside, so much hard in fact, you have a strong reason for that, but you have a very beautiful heart and a very soft soul. So why do you still keep your heart closed?"

She tried to answer that question, but he hushed her and continued "I am not perfect. I would be angry at times, but I would never disgrace you. I would be lazy at times, but I would never let go your hands. I would be a bit moody at times, but I would never let you down when you need me. Now, would you give me the chance to help you heal that wound you have been carrying? Would you be the best wife I could have ever had and make me the happiest man ever alive by taking my hand for a marriage?"

That girl was speechless. At the time where she has let go her dreams of love and marriage; At the time where she already sets her mind that no one would believe her if she says that she is not a bad person, he comes with a complete surrender. He makes her feel like 17 again. He reminds her that she is indeed a woman in his eyes. But she is scared. She is scared that her heart would be battered again. She is confused.

She has long forgotten what it feels to be actually loved by a man. She has long forgotten what it is to stop fighting and surrender in a man's hands. She has struggled to keep her heart a cold steel so that no one could get near. She has been living her life with the concept that her own legs are the ones that make her stand strong. She has been living with the concept that her own hands are the ones that would embrace her when she is at the lowest part of her life. That is how she survives the dark sides of her life.

She has built a fortress but now the fortress that she had built has been breached. She was very confident that no one would try to break her fortress again, but someone is coming with a dynamite to blast her fortress... Someone is trying to break the new her and bring back the old her.

Should she give this man his chance? Should she surrender herself once again with complete trust? Should she give herself a chance to love again? Does her heart have the capacity to love again? or Has she even already fallen in love with this man in her subconscious? She doesn't know what love means anymore. She doesn't have the answers. What should she do? What would she do?

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