Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Re-post: Uncompleted Love Story

I encounter this story today ... It's just a reminder to all of us who still could feel something beyond all the hustle and bustle. It's a simple story but it's a story we all need to know. Go to your loved ones, folks - and light your world as bright as you could because nothing is more beautiful than being in love and to be loved in return :)

A Boy proposed his Girl-friend for Marriage…

Girl: Tell me..; who do you love most in this world..?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: what am I to you?
Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said
“You are missing part of my heart”.

She smiled, and she accepted his proposal.
After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became difficult.

All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to drift away deir dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became make their relation more worst.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house.
At the opposite side of the road, she shouted,
”You don’t love me…!!!”

The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, said,
“May be, it was a mistake for us to be together..!!!”

You were never the missing part of my ____!!!”
Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long, while She regretted what he said but words spoken cant be taken back. With tears in her eyes, she went home to pack her things and Before leaving the house, she left a note for him..;

“If I’m really not the missing part of your love, let me go and search for some one who is..…
It is less painful this way… let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners…!!”

Five years went by….
He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and was living her dreams.
He used to regret on what he did but never tried to bring her back. In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met, At the airport, He was going away on a business trip. He saw her, She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them.

She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you..?
Girl: I’m fine. How about you.. Have you found your heart’s missing part…?
Boy: No.
Girl: I’ll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I’ll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number, nothing has changed.
With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.
“Good-bye . . .”
Same evening he heard of a plane crash which was headed to New York. He tried to know about her and found that, She died.
Midnight… Once again, he lit his cigarette… And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew, she was that missing part that he had carelessly broken…!!!

Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury.

We take out our 99% frustrations at our loved ones, And even though we know that we ought to”think twice and act wisely”, we actually don’t do it. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control.
Try not to hurt your loved once, because a moment of anger could be a lifetime punishment.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Eulogies vs Resumes

When I had my usual round of walk after dinner today, suddenly I remembered the speech I gave for my felicitation at BIMS, Mysore, India in front of the junior students. I said quite a lot of things at that time starting from how I ended up in India, how I found India for my two-year stay, and what the advice I could give as senior to them. However, one particular thing suddenly struck me tonight. I remember the last line that I said was "Live with integrity because in the end of your life, it's not how many BMWs you have, it's not in how many acres of land your build your house, it's not how many gold medals you bagged during your academic life, it's not about the marks you obtain during your studies, it's not how much money you have in your bank account... it's basically about how you live your life, how you share your life with all the people whom you love and who love you... with the people who trust you".

What I wish to say is that when you passed away one day, there would be an eulogy. If you have noticed, this eulogy is entirely different from what we define as success in our daily lives. And this reminds me to the eulogy I said at my grandpa's funeral. I had the honor to do that representing the family and at the last line, I said ".. wherever I am, I promise that I shall follow your legacy...". In the end, it was about what my grandpa had taught me that I wish to carry on in my life. In the end, it's all about the fundamental things that made us be remembered in people's hearts and minds. It's about the legacy we wish to carry on, not the materialistic success we wish to copycat.

It's an entirely different parameter of how we see a person. We don't have the tendency to say:
  • "He traveled a lot during his tenure and that had jeopardized his relationship with his wife and children, but it was worth it as he earned $1 billion a month during the past 20 years of his life".
  • "She never comes out of home. She didn't have many real friends but she has 1049 friends in Facebook and everyone posted "Sorry to lose you" on her wall. There were 731 posts. That is really a great achievement".
  • "The best thing about him is when he was promoted to be the CEO of the company".
  • "He had bagged 18 gold medals during his post-graduate study for securing 97% marks in most of the subjects".

Of course, sometimes we would hear some achievements in terms of work, but that won't be the main thing. Those are not what we hear as eulogies after someone passed away. If those things aren't the things said in our eulogies, then why do we live life for something which is not going to be in our eulogies? Our eulogies aren't going to be our resumes no matter how brilliantly we polish those resumes. We don't hear their resumes, folks. We heard what are analyzed in their life from a completely deviated course of life that we normally too busy to see in our daily lives.

I am not blaming your financial success. I am not blaming the millions of likes on your Facebook Page. I am not blaming your extraordinary capacity in making excellent presentations in front of thousands of people. I am not blaming your promotion to be the CEO of a division. I am not blaming your feat as being the richest person in the region. Definitely that's not what my point is.

My point is, why can't we balance our resumes with our eulogies? Is it possible? Could you match your success with a humble character? Could you match your promotion with a trustworthy character? Could you match your extraordinary skills with accountability?

I am not a perfect human being, I will never be but I believe that no matter how small I am, there will always be something good that I could share to people, if only I have the courage to see inside myself and find that goodness. I ever heard my grandpa & mom said "Don't do what I do, but do what I say because I may do some wrong in my life, there are certain negativity that I no longer could change in my life, but what I say to you is always for your own good" and at this phase and age of life, I think something that I could share with people is:

 "Try to live your life the way you wish to be remembered by those whom you love, who love you, who trust you.
Make mistakes, but don't deny it. Behave foolishly, but try to fix it. Say stupid things, but ask for forgiveness, be accountable. Be a jerk, but don't be an egomaniac.
Don't make bad things as a habit.
Polish yourself every single day into a betterment.
Because in the end, it's ALWAYS about how you touch others' hearts.
No matter how small it could be".

Sunday, September 22, 2013

One Friend - That is YOU!

I was busy working on my task this morning when I got a ping from a friend. The e-mail contained a song that truly made my day and I thought I shall share it with you and make today as the day where I could thank all of you to come into my life.

That was a really lovely song with really great lyric.

Thank you for all my friends out there who have been a wonderful part of my life.

A friend who squeezes the time from his office just to have a short talk with me.

A friend who always screws my brain day and night with silly messages that I always enjoy.

A friend who has kept an absence roll during my stay in Afghanistan to make sure I am alive every single day.

A friend whom I could always go and tell the most ridiculous thing EVER.

A friend with whom I have fought like HELL BREAKING LOOSE just to talk normally in the next day without even remembering what the fight was about.

A friend  who always makes me eat a lot even though she knows I eat like pig all the time.

A friend who never puts me in a "Girl Category". God knows why.

A friend who has faith in me that I shall do what I have to do without a single doubt.

A friend who has always included me in his prayer.

A friend who has helped me get back to the right mind set from all the chaos.

Friends who could suddenly simply come out of nowhere to be there for me.

Friends with whom I could laugh my belly & heart out for the smallest thing ever.

AND for all the new families I have met who have shown me Love, Trust, Support, and Care.

God bless you all and wish you have a lovely life always.
Thank you once again for the trust & love.
Love you all, folks. Have a happy Sunday.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Relationship Dilemma!

I think this have been a quite dramatic weekend for me. Another dramatic love story came onto my lap and I was a bit busy with tissue papers and iced lemon tea to wipe out the tears & make someone calm. The conversation I had yesterday with the so-called "victim" reminded me to the time when I was struggling with my own relationship.

It's funny to finally have the moment to remember all the past again & fortunately I could smile now knowing that I had gone through that. Seeing things from further distance has made me realized certain values in life, certain principles to follow, certain signs not to avoid, and certain attitude to nurture in order to survive.

This post today is dedicated for all men & women who have been giving the full and yet feel that you get what you don't deserve.

So now, you may ask, what on earth the story is about?

Well, you could say an acquaintance of mine paid a visit today. She is a girl quite younger than me. She has been having a humble life and yet pretty complicated. She has a mother who is not so caring towards her. She has no father but she has a sibling. Her mother lives in her own world, not very attentive and hence, she has the necessity to take care of herself in almost all aspects. AND THEN... the big bang comes.. she fell in love to the wrong man. YES, the disaster begins.

I will skip all the nook & cranny and finally she told me the thing that hurt her the most is when they were in a fight. She heard a sentence like this "When your mom can't even bother about you, how could you expect me to take care of you?". My heart skipped a beat when I heard that. I was blur for a moment. I don't know if it's a deja vu or just a flash. I have heard that kind of sentence once before in my life and yet, I thought it was a rare sentence to be said by a man... until today. I realize it's not rare at all. There are men out there who are so low in character that have the capacity to say such things. If he can't bother to take care of you, why did he get close to you in the first place? What is his function then?

Now, what I want to say is that... I don't know what I'm going to say is right or not, but I know for sure that it is crucial enough to take it into consideration. Please pay attention on this now.

When we, human, know that a person hasn't been treated well by his/her family or anyone close, and yet we care for them, we would have the desire tendency to treat them as good as we can, right? YES, IF WE CARE. Now I would ask you. If you meet a person you hate or dislike, and you know that the person is not treated well by the family or other friends, what would be your reaction? You, would have the tendency to treat them the same, right? Why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE.

So, now let's get back to my dramatic story of the day. What I know about a man who has a good character & integrity is that he holds charge. Men fix situation. Men fix things. So, if when you are in deep shit and your man doesn't even try to help you, then he is not the one. You can't expect your man to fix all your problem, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that a man who truly cares about you shall try his best to be a part of your life, in any ways. If you find him NOT trying at all or dodging away or pushing the load all onto you, then it's time to reconsider his stance in your life. You may not see it now because you are in love bubbles, but a few years down the line, you would see it crystal clear.

And if you find a person who, in a relationship, has the capacity to say  "When your mom can't even bother about you, how could you expect me to take care of you?" then I shall say he is a low kind of human being that you don't deserve. When he has the capacity to say such, what is the guarantee that he would take care of you later? NO GUARANTEE AT ALL. You can't expect a person without integrity to be accountable. Accountability is very expensive, folks. You can't expect that from cheap people, bear it men or women. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP AS SOON AS YOU CAN AS IF YOU WERE INSIDE AN INFERNO. DON'T EVEN TURN YOUR HEAD BACK. JUST RUN FOR YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE. IF POSSIBLE, BREAK THE SPEED RECORD OF USAIN BOLT. 

Now, it's easier said than done, right? Yes, RIGHT.
Yesterday, my acquaintance said that she wanted to give him a chance. She said that he must have been angry that he spoke that way. So, I ask "Have you ever heard him say like that before?" and the answer is "Today is the third time".

If it had been a Red Light Sign in a traffic light, that light would have blasted by now. It's no longer a Red sign sweetheart, it's a VOLCANO RED SIGN.

I shall say that when we love someone or like someone so much, we have the strongest capacity to tolerate their tantrums. We forgive them again & again even though we know that they have been wrong all along. It's like an addiction. We are afraid of getting out of the relationship and being single. We are afraid that we won't find the compatible match again in the future. YES, but it is better being alone than in a hurting relationship that makes you cry or frustrated day and night.

If holding a barb-wire wounds your hand, let it go for heaven's sake. Even trees can move, why can't we? Let go. If you have gone in the path of God, love truly, trust fully and still other people say that you are "not good enough", then the problem is not in you, it's in their eyes. They don't have the blessed eyes to the see the purity of your heart. Stop crying. Dignify yourself. Forgive yourself for falling in love wrongly. Beautify your personality and live a life with integrity. If love has to come again someday, then it will come. If it doesn't come, then be glad that at least you are not in the wrong hands. Find another purpose in life.

There would be a moment when you would fight for the relationship. You would give up everything, leave everything behind, swim across the ocean to get your love, but in the end all you get is just a nice slap... Many people have faced this. No one is alone. Hence, when you realize it's not worth fighting for anymore, let it go. Some fights are simply too lame to put your gears on. It's not worth it at all.
My conclusion today is that, an argument in a relationship is common. Now, it's up to us to make the argument into a blood feud or not. Again & again I'm telling this. If you have been following my blog, I'm sure you must have heard this. Throwing certain words that have the permanent fatal effects for temporary problems are not going to save any kind of relationship. Being sorry or saying sorry afterwards are not going to change anything to the beautiful phase again. Please fight, Please argue, but do it for betterment, do it to understand each other. Don't fight to chide each other. Don't fight to man-down your partner.

Wrong words & sentences are lethal weapon, folks. Never... I repeat, NEVER use permanent remarks for temporary problems because when you use such words, surely you will win the fight, but you will lose the person forever. Now... choose... Do you want to win the fight or the person?? Your love-life, your relationship is in your hands.

Fight wisely! Have a blessed week with full of love for all of you.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

When is the Auspicious Time???!!

Yesterday evening I talked to one of the family friends who mentioned about some things that set me off the roof. I was so angry that I started preaching. At least that was what I thought I was doing.

Some people have the habit of focusing their lives in good timing & bad timing or we say it Auspicious & Not Auspicious.

So, yesterday we were talking about one boy who was born maybe 5 or 6 years ago and it was said that the time the boy was born is not good and hence it would bring bad influence to the family. That was supposed to be the most ridiculous thing I could ever heard, but unfortunately it wasn't the first time I heard such things. In different occasion a year ago, there was a man who passed away. They said that the time he passed away was not a good time and hence, the house where he lived his last days should be emptied at least for 6 months so that there won’t be any bad effect to the family.

Jeez… What on earth are people thinking?

Just because of that, can we say to an unborn baby “Hey dude, tomorrow at 9am is not a good time so you hang on in there okay? Don’t come out until the time passes 9am.” Or maybe, can we say “Hey little one, now is the right time to come out, the time is auspicious, so please come out. Hurry up!!! Chop chop chop!!!” Can you say that?

Or maybe we could say to a dying man, “Hey buddy, if you die now, the timing is so bad, the entire family has to vacate the house for 6 months, so you please die tomorrow ok?” or maybe we could say “Sir, on Friday between 3 – 6pm is the best time to die, so you please die accordingly ok. Remember sir, not before 3pm and not after 6pm BUT BETWEEN 3 - 6pm”. Can you say that???

If a baby is born on Monday, at 05:51:20pm, then it is the time that GOD Himself has set for that baby to come to this stupid world. NO MAN. I REPEAT folks, NO HUMAN OR ANY OTHER CREATURE could question that and say that it is good time or bad time. It is God’s time and He knows what to do. We are no one to judge such things.

If a person dies on Sunday, at 02:34:45am, then it is the time that GOD Himself has promised to take that person back to him. NO HUMAN OR ANY OTHER CREATURE could say that it is not a good time or a bad time. It is God’s time and He & only He has the authority to that. We have 0% right to judge that.

If parents divorced after a child was born, it is because it is bound to happen. It is the plan of God. If parents become well off after a child is born, it is also because it is bound to happen. It is indeed the plan of God as well.

Some says that after a child is born, then his parents start fighting. That child brings bad omen. Some says that when a child is born, a family member passed away and hence that child brings bad luck.

If I say it point blank, WHY don’t you have sex at the right hour, right minute and right second so that you could conceive at the right hour, right minute, and right second and your child could be born at right hour, right minute, and right second? Can you do that??? WE CAN’T, but we are so blind-hearted that we could blame the birth time. What inhuman gesture is that? What authority do we have on that?

Every single thing that happens on earth serves its own purpose. Whether a baby’s birth is planned or unplanned, whether a death happens as we wish or not, it will go with its own flow.

Let’s not be submissive to the hypocrisy of saying ourselves as a man of God and takes God as the sovereign power that has the authority of our lives, when at the same time, we play God by judging other people’s birth or death as auspicious or not. Let’s not be a hypocrite and play God by ourselves.  Are we questioning God’s timing? Are we that shallow? Are we that strong to question God’s willing? Who are we to do that? WE ARE NOT GOD to determine such things, folks. WE ARE NOT GOD, for heaven’s sake.

STOP discriminating your children just because you think one is born at good time and another is born at bad time.

Just remember that everything that happens is not yours to judge. Accept things as they are. Struggle for better changes, but don’t blame death time and birth time. You are not that powerful to do that and you will never be. If you have such perception, PLEASE, change it. Whatever you wish to start, start with the name of God. Whatever you have in your hands, be gracious for that, and have faith in God… The rest will be taken care of - That's one of the things that I could be 100% sure of.

Faith Honors God & God Honors Faith.
Have a great day ahead with fresher point of view. Be blessed!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Online Dating???

Today a friend was talking to me regarding online dating and hence, I thought I shall share my own view on this matter. To be frank, at this stage of life, I no longer recommend online dating with one exception that I shall mention at the end of the post. It is an unavoidable issue of course from the perspective that nowadays a group of people no longer have time to have a normal social life due to the work pressure. We have the tendency to be locked up in our cubicle with work and keep focusing about it even when the office hours are over. This situation made us find a way in front of our gadget to have a sense of relationship through the cyber-world. Or in other situation, it could be just a coincidence that you meet someone on facebook or chat room with whom you eventually be interested in.

Now, the question is... Is that for real?

I can't judge that it is for real or not for real because if I say it is a bullshit, then definitely there are living proof of people who met in cyber world and work out through their relationship in a wonderful manner. If I say it is risky, you could say that even in real-life relationship, the risk could be unbearable. Well, that's true. There is no way of saying that this is the best way of having a relationship and that is not the way of having a relationship even though I personally would say that Long Distance Relationship is no longer an option in my life.

Now, there are basically two groups of people when it comes to online relationship. First, the people who limit whatever the cyber relations are only on their gadget without making a move to make it physical. Mostly, this is done for talking about personal issues where they can't discuss with people who are "not" strangers to them. It would give them a sense of relief to get certain things off the chest to someone they don't know anything about.

Second, the people who wish to continue the cyber relation to the real world relation. Now, this is where the complications arise. We have been knowing a person through the screen for months or years at times without really feeling their presence in our circle. We can't properly see their visage, their expression towards certain situation, or the proper tone when they are speaking. Most of real-life reactions are spontaneous, while online reaction has what I call as "pause" where you could tailor your reaction towards what you are supposed to say or do. THIS, folks, shall create an "imaginary personality" of a person towards the perceptions of others. You could realize that Mr. X or Ms. X is very calm in speaking and dealing with issues, but when in reality, the same person could blow you off the roof with their raging words or raging manner. This symptom is not something that you could observe in Long Distance Relationship.

Not a few conversation I have heard where people do online dating and when the time finally comes the time to meet the other person, they said:
  • "Oh, the way she walks is funny. I can't tolerate that for the rest of my life." or
  • "Jeez, the way he is eating is like a pig." or
  • "Sweet mother of God, he is damn macho on cam but his mannerism is like a sissy." or
  • "For God's sake, she dresses like a cheap." or
  • "I feel sorry that I said I fell in love with her." or
  • "Finally, I realize that he doesn't deserve to be a part of my family."

Are those familiar folks? Well, I'm sure they are. And when does this happen? It happens after you say "I love you" or "I don't care whatever it is, I would fight for you."  yada yada yada.

What I wish to convey here is that, human interaction as what I know is feeling the presence of a person around us, even though in very rare cases, some people could manage Long Distance Relation in a very strong manner. We may not realize it but when we have a person around us, we catch their aura, the energy they are giving out of their body. Have you ever sat in a bus and a neat beautiful lady or handsome man sit beside you and yet you feel utterly unsafe, while at other incidence you have a punk sitting beside you and yet you feel safe? Now, it is our body reaction towards their aura. You don't have this on online relation.

One other issue is that on online conversation, the accountability of our words is very low because the escape route is generally easy. We have the tendency to say things which we can't be responsible with. For example, you say "I will do this." but when it comes to reality and you come in front of her/him and claim "You said you will do that, please do that.", the other person could freak out. Why? Because he/she didn't realize the momentum of his/her words in reality. He/She realizes that he/she can't be responsible on such issue in reality. He/she realizes that he/she can't do "this" in reality. In the end, it would come as this "In online it was different, but in reality it is different." or "I didn't know that you were serious".

So what is the solution for this? You may proceed with online dating, but don't decide to tie the bond immediately. Spend some quality time in the same place for some time. Meet up in regular basis, strengthen the pre-online-relation, see how each other actually behave in real life among the friends, family, and society, get comfortable with each other and then proceed from that.

For all the youngsters out there whose hearts are still newly blooming with young love or for those who are desperate to find love, please take it slow. It's better to be cautious than to be sorry. Open your eyes, strengthen your shock absorber, limit your trust, limit your faith towards the other person, be critical, and don't be stupid because some of you may not have a father or a brother or a strong family to protect you from the harm done. Protect yourself and dignify yourself. A good man for a good woman and A good woman for a good man, always.

Now, let me end the post with a quote from Have a great day ahead.

Girl said: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in Alaska. We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, he proposed to me on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship through Viber. I need your blessings and good wishes, daddy.

Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, receive them through gmail. And if you are fed up with your husband, sell him on amazon.